By: EK Encarnacion

Priscilla Chan at Mark Zuckerberg (Sinipi mula sa Yahoo! News)

Ilang araw na lang at Hunyo na. Bukod sa mga batang magiliw na namimili ng mga Dora the Explorer o Avengers-themed na bags, lunch boxes at pencil cases; bukod sa mga magulang na unti-unting sumasakit ang ulo dahil sa laki ng napipintong gastusin sa tuition fee, miscellaneous fee, presyo ng uniform at baon; bukod sa mga drayber ng jeepney at tricycle na muli na namang aarangkada ng madaling-araw upang makarami ng mga maihahatid na estudyante sa kani-kanilang paaralan; ay nariyan ang mga dalagang nagsusukat ng kanilang mga traje de boda at mga binatang nag-aayos sa harap ng salamin suot ang kanilang mga simpleng barong tagalog.

Panahon na naman ng kasalan. Matapos ang mataimtim na pagdarasal upang makahanap ng mapapangasawa at pagkadaka’y sapat na pera upang maituloy lamang ang kasal na inaasam-asam ng dalaga; buhay mag-asawa na ang dadanasin ng dalawang magsing-irog na haharap hindi lamang sa pari o pastor ngunit sa Diyos na magbubuklod sa kanila bilang isa.

Sabi nga ng ating mga ninuno, “Ang kasal ay hindi kaning isusubo na iluluwa kapag napaso.” At marahil mapapatunayan ito ng napakaraming mag-asawa na patuloy na pinaglalaban ang kanilang sinumpaan. Dahil ang bansa natin ay naniniwala sa kabanalan ng pagpapakakasal, marami sa miyembro ng ating lipunan ang naninindigang hindi dapat mapatupad ang diborsyo sa ating bansa. Kung kaya’t masasabi nating sa Pilipinas, DAPAT nag-iisip muna ang mga magsing-irog kung talagang gusto nilang makasama pang-habang-buhay ang kanilang napiling kabiyak dahil in the long run pagkatapos nang maipasa ang bouquet at garter wala na silang choice kung hindi mamumuhay sa kasaganaan at sa kahirapan, sa karamdaman at sa maayos na kalusugan together unless… nasa showbiz ka o pulitika (although hindi na rin natin makita ang boundary sa pagitan nila dahil may mga artistang pulitiko at pulitikong artista) kung saan may malaking tsansa na makipaghiwalay at magkaroon ng bagong asawa dahil siyempre walang mapapagpiyestahan sa mga tabloids, radyo at telebisyon. Nakakalungkot na marami sa mga nakakaluwag sa buhay ang pinipiling magfile ng legal separation o annulment makaligtas lamang sa sakal na dulot ng kasal. Bakit ganun na lamang ang pagbitaw sa tinuturing na isang sagradong sakramento? Bakit nga ba hindi kinilatis ng magsing-irog ang isa’t-isa bago sumagot ng, “I do”? Nakakalungkot na sa panahon ngayon ang asawa ay hinahalintulad sa damit—kapag hindi na uso, pwede na lamang palitan, ika nga ni Yeng Constantino.

At bakit nga ba ako napasulat ng blog entry tungkol sa kasal gayong single naman ako? Ito ay dahil kamakailan ay nabasa ko ang Yahoo! Article na Zuckerberg’s Post-IPO Wedding is Smart Legal Move na  tungkol sa kasal ni Mark Zuckerberg at Priscilla Chan na timing naman ay isang araw matapos maaprubahan sa California (kung saan nakabase ang dalawa) ang communal property law na nagbibigay proteksyon sa mga pagmamay-ari ng mga mayayaman sakali mang mauwi sa diborsyo ang kanilang kasal. Nakakalungkot na bagamat dapat natutuwa ang lahat ng tao sa paligid dahil dalawang tao ang kakakasal lamang, heto at pinag-uusapan kung paano hahatiin ang kanilang assets sakali mang mauwi sa sampahan sa korte at malaon ay maghiwalay.

Napaisip tuloy ako. Tuluyan na nga atang nawalan ng halaga ang kasal lalo na sa mga may pera at lalo na sa mga bansang nag-apruba ng diborsyo dahil anupa’t maaari naman palang maghiwalay ng kahit anong oras at, ang pinakamahalaga pa, hindi magalusan ang pag-mamay-ari dahil protektado ng batas. Kung baga, safe na safe magpakasal dahil masaktan ka man emotionally, sagip ka naman financially. Sana nagkataon lang na ikinasal si Mark Zuckerberg kay Priscilla Chan isang araw matapos maisabatas ang communal property law. Sana patuloy silang mag-ibigan at hindi mauwi sa diborsyo. At least kahit ako man, hindi man ang iba, nananalangin ng isang mabuting buhay mag-asawa para sa kanila.

Dahil kung hindi nila ito mapatunayan, mas mabuti na palang nasa Pilipinas at dukha. Pagkatapos makaranas ng mga problema, malaki ang tsansa, hindi man lahat, ng mga mag-asawa na maging matiisin at mapaghusay ang kanilang mga pag-uugali—dasal, kasal, sakal at di katagala’y mabuting asal.  

TUNGKOL SA MAY-AKDA

Sinipag lang magbasa si EK Encarnacion ng Yahoo! News (bagamat alam naman niyang marami sa mga artikulo nila ay wala naman talagang sense) kaya siya napasulat ng blog entry tungkol dito. Alamin ang mga hilig ng blogger na ito sa pagbisita sa kanyang mga blogs: mabusog sa Culinary Coliseum (food blog), gumala sa Travelocities (travel blog), at matutong magpasalamat sa By God’s Grace (gratitude blog). Ipakita ang iyong pagsuporta sa nagsisimulang blogger na ito sa pamamagitan ng pag-like sa kanyang Facebook Fan Page at Triond Page.

By: EK Encarnacion

Rainy Bus Ride (Credits to http://www.larrybrunt.com for the Image)

Kagabi, binabagtas ng air-conditioned at dimly lit bus na sinasakyan ko ang kahabaan ng SCTEX nang biglang nagalit ang kalangitan at bumuhos ang malakas na ulan.

Katatapos lang ng Moves Like Jagger sa aking shuffle nang pumasok ang…

“I’ve heard that you’re settled down…”

Alam kong gasgas na ang kanta ni Adele na ito. Pero nung mga oras na iyon, pinili kong maging malungkot at lubusin ang pagkakataon. Idinantay ko ang aking ulo sa head rest ng aking upuan habang sinasabayan ng pagguhit ng mga luha sa aking pisngi ang pagguhit ng mga patak ng ulan sa bintanang nasa aking harapan. 

TUNGKOL SA MAY-AKDA

Paborito ni EK Encarnacion ang sumakay ng air-conditioned bus habang nagsusungit ang panahon. Alamin ang mga hilig ng blogger na ito sa pagbisita sa kanyang mga blogs: mabusog sa Culinary Coliseum (food blog), gumala sa Travelocities (travel blog), at matutong magpasalamat sa By God’s Grace (gratitude blog). Ipakita ang iyong pagsuporta sa nagsisimulang blogger na ito sa pamamagitan ng pag-like sa kanyang Facebook Fan Page at Triond Page.

By: EK Encarnacion

Cow Manure (Credits to www.green.autoblog.com for the Image)

A girl and I were tied separately onto two large adjacent trees in the middle of a tropical forest. In front of us were a group of tribesmen dancing around a gigantic fire. I tried to untangle what seemed to be a thick abaca rope used to bind me onto the tree. But my efforts were in vain for I could not get myself free. Finally, the chieftain approached and stood right in front of the trees to which the girl and I were tied onto. “Trespassing in our territory is punishable by being burned alive,” he uttered in fluent American English. “However, we do give considerations so that you may save yourselves from death.”

He called someone from the crowd. A tribesman came forward and was holding two large and fresh cow manures on both hands. “Eat and swallow,” said the chieftain, “And you will be freed from punishment.” The tribesman holding the cow manures held his left hand right in front of my face. The smell was horrible. I began to tear. I opened my mouth. I felt my tongue, tonsil and throat starting to feel squeamish. I felt my stomach starting to regurgitate. I wanted to vomit. But it was a matter of survival. I took one large bite. My tongue felt the thick paste-like texture of the manure. My teeth gnashed on undesirable chunks hoping to break them down into smaller pieces that are easier to swallow. I continued until nothing was left but the left hand of the tribesman on which the manure was once sitting. The chieftain got a long sharp bolo and tore the rope in one swing. “Leave and never come back,” he said in disgust.

I walked a few steps, my eyes still trying to look back at the tribesmen waiting for my immediate flight. And then I started running. I did not know where I was going but I just kept running and running and running towards the opposite direction—as far as possible from the tribesmen.

And then I heard a loud scream coming from a woman. I remembered the cow dung I have eaten. I felt my stomach grumbling. A large solid was already making its way up my esophagus, and then through my throat, and then right inside my mouth. I vomited.

I woke up and found the lower portion of my face covered in saliva.  

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

EK Encarnacion doesn’t always get good dreams (why oh why?!). To learn more of what this blogger’s epic failures, read his other works at the follwing: Culinary Coliseum (food blog), Travelocities (travel blog), and By God’s Grace (gratitude blog). Also show him your super-love by liking his Facebook Fan Page and Triond Page.

By: EK Encarnacion

Jessica Sanchez (Photograph by American Idol)

And the American Idol Season 11 Winner is… Phillip Phillips.

The office was silent. Everyone proceeded with their respective tasks for the day. “What did Jessica Sanchez do wrong to lose against Phillip Phillips?” I muttered to myself as I was diluting my mercury standards. “Was it bad song choice? Was it because we did not exhaust all our resources to vote for Jessica? Was it because everyone sympathized with Phillip after learning he was actually enduring kidney failure? Was it because Jessica failed to captivate the hearts of many (particularly of young teenage girls who unfailingly support and who have a big crush on heartthrob, Phillip Phillips)?” I continued asking. But in the end of the day, I thought, it will always go back to the votes. A supporter will always vote for his or her idol regardless of performances. Both contestants did well. It just so happened that many voted for Phillip over Jessica.

Jessica showed her big vocals throughout the duration of the competition—getting standing ovations and/or rounds of applauses with her versions of Jennifer Hudson’s Love You I Do, Whitney Houston’s I Will Always Love You and Beyonce’s Sweet Dreams. And as Randy Jackson concluded, “that girl could really sing.” Phillip Phillips didn’t get much attention as Jessica. But he continued to showcase his soulfulness and originality therefore besting even judges’ favourite and another voice powerhouse, Joshua Ledet. Indeed, the world can shift in a snap. Even a strong contender can end up losing from an underdog.

Consider past American Idol second placers. Katherine McPhee may have placed second in AI Season 5 but she already appeared in a movie and made a fantastic duet with Zachary Levi. Taylor Hicks, on the other hand, well, where is he anyway? David Cook may have been crowned idol in Season 7 and mesmerized everyone with his rendition of Mariah Carey’s Always Be My Baby and his original songs, The Time of My Life and Come Back to Me but David Archuleta (first runner-up) continues to rule with his singles, Crush, Elevator and Touch My Hand, and even appeared as guests in American teen shows and got a lead role in a Philippine primetime mini-series. In Season 8, Kris Allen may have proven that there are No Boundaries in bagging the idol title but Adam Lambert still rules the airwaves with his For Your Entertainment and Whataya Want From Me, and including his most recent song, Better Than I Know Myself. And with respect to Kris Allen, well, just like Taylor Hicks I’m not really sure where he is now.

Although not necessary second placers, consider other “losers”. Charice Pempengco may have received third honour in the singing competition, The Little Big Star, but she has internationally outshined the show’s grand winner, Sam Concepcion. Charice was able to sing with members of the Korean group, Super Junior, and appeared as a guest for Ellen DeGeneres, and got Oprah Winfrey to contact David Foster and make the young lass one of his talents (or something of that sort). Sam Concepcion, well, the last time I’ve heard of him was inside the MRT where he continues to endorse Toy Kingdom, or so I think. And there is also Jennifer Hudson who seems to be more popular than any of the Season 3 contestants of American Idol. Not only did Jennifer Hudson become a recording artist and an actress on the big screen, she won an Academy Award and a Golden Globe Award for her role as Effie White. Stupendous!

What is remarkable about these second placers and losers is that they did not stop achieving after failing to obtain first place. Instead, they used their defeats to catapult themselves to stardom—making people be caught in amazement, “How could have we not noticed or recognized their capabilities during those time?” Acceptance of the loss is the key. Determination is the fuel.

So Jessica’s overall impact may be good… but not good enough for now: 0-Jessica, 1-Phillip.

But the end of the singing competition is just the beginning of both of their careers. Jessica should go back to the stage stronger and highly motivated. And there’s no doubt that success is within the palm of her hands.

Yes. Let the second round begin.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

EK Encarnacion may not be the best in any of the aspects of his life but has faith that someday he’ll get the biggest break. To learn more of what this blogger believes, read his other works at the follwing: Culinary Coliseum (food blog), Travelocities (travel blog), and By God’s Grace (gratitude blog). Also show him your super-love by liking his Facebook Fan Page and Triond Page.

By: EK Encarnacion

Walking in the Rain by Gabor Pozsgai

We can still probably remember that time when we realized we had forgotten to bring our umbrellas and the downpour was so heavy it was impossible to move without getting drenched from the door of the school or office building to our car or to the waiting shed. And perhaps we can still remember the person who suddenly opened his o her umbrella and invited us to share it with him or her. Or we may recall that time in high school or college when we could not understand how to derive a certain equation or could not grasp a certain scientific principle until a friend sat by our sides and explained the whole thing like it was A-B-C. Or maybe we remember that time when our allowance wasn’t enough to buy something to eat at the canteen and then came our classmate who took out his sandwich and offered it to us.

In this time of the “Me-Generation,” the act of figuring out and asking the needs of a person and eventually extending the required help has become rare. Although not entirely gone; the number of people who will assist a blind man to cross the street, offer a seat to a mother and child, carry purchased items for an old lady in the wet market, stop over and lend tools to a young man whose engine overheated, pay the electric and water bills for mom and dad, teach a slow-learning sibling how to multiply and divide, welcome a stranger at church, visit a sick friend who missed classes, volunteer as a substitute presenter for an officemate who could not make it to the meeting on time, and all other many acts of service is becoming lesser and lesser. When asked, a lot of people would say, “Of course, I can do those things for others!” But we do know that things are easier said than done without being told.

Most people nowadays would think and say, “Why should I do something for others they can do for themselves?” Although it is true that we are living in the age of independence—when we are taught that we cannot rely on other people but only ourselves; I personally believe that there is no definite well-roundedness in character when a person does not give help to and receive help from others.

But of course, there is also the issue of a person who do not really want to be helped. The best answer to this is to first ask him or her, “Would it be helpful to you if I… ?” before giving help. In that way, we are able to assess if the person really needs or wants our service. A “yes” may mean an opportunity to express this language love of ours while a “no” doesn’t mean a rejection but rather a sign that that person doesn’t want to receive the love language, Acts of Service, for the moment.

Another issue would be people who seem to be abusive of those willing to express this language of love. Service is different from Slavery. No person should ever be treated as a slave. We have the ability to make decisions and to take actions. Allowing ourselves to be used or manipulated by others is not an act of love but rather an act of treason. If someone we know is already showing signs of taking advantage of our services, it is time we go and tell him or her, “I love you too much to let you treat me this way. It is not good for you and me.” It is good to extend help to that person once in a while but never allow him or her to develop inhumane habits.

EK Encarnacion and His Acts of Service

Deep inside, I have this strong belief that this is actually my primary language of love. For a weird reason, I rarely forget people who help me especially during times when I could no longer figure things out or perform certain tasks. I easily get attached to people who selflessly give a portion of their time and/or effort to express this love language to me. (It should be noted that this is different from the fifth love language, Quality Time, as we will see in the blog entry dedicated to it). Whether a person is near me or not, I feel loved when I receive Acts of Service. I know my dad loves me because it is he who cooks and prepares packed lunch for me during weekdays. I felt loved when I could no longer answer my entire tuition fee one semester in graduate school and then my mother volunteered to share despite the fact that she also needed the money. I felt important when my brother, despite his busy schedule, took time to assist me in answering a work problem involving differentiation and integration. I felt loved when a friend offered her shoulder twice for me to cry on after undergoing situations I could no longer bear by myself. I felt grateful when the on-the-job trainees in the office offered their help in analyzing problematic sediment samples containing large amounts of mercury. I could not forget my girl friend that saved me from the wrath of another person as I accidentally slipped off the tongue a slight portion of the secret we previously talked about. And I will always recall the kindness of my two friends, whom I just met in Facebook, who toured me around the city when I was all alone in Cebu to attend the 26^th Philippine Chemistry Congress.

I do not know how to really assess my giving of Acts of Service. Perhaps, others could do it for me. What I’m practicing and learning is being more observant to the needs of the people around me; confidently asking others, “Would it be helpful if I… ?”; acting on the needs instantaneously without ifs and buts; and being able to really touch hearts through this language of love.

What We Can Do

Acts of Service is perhaps one of the most difficult love languages to learn and master. It requires giving a portion of ourselves (via deeds) without expecting anything in return. Acts of Service cannot be written down or uttered like Words of Affirmation but the giver’s intentions continue to echo in the lives of the recipients as justified by the cliché, “Actions speak louder than Words”. Acts of Service need not require presence like Physical Touch because the giver’s intentions nevertheless transcend space and time. Acts of Service is unlike Gifts that can fade, decay or be destroyed yet works similarly as the giver’s love is forever embedded in the hearts and minds of the receivers. Does mom need someone to do chores around the house? Does dad deserve a treatment this coming Fathers’ Day? Did brother or sister’s laptop crashed? What can we do to a new classmate or officemate who keeps getting lost around the campus or office respectively? What can we do to that guy or girl at the shed waiting for the rain to stop?

Maybe it’s time for us to bring a bigger umbrella.

Reference:

Chapman, G., The Five Love Languages Singles Edition, (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers), 2009

Related Articles

The Five Love Languages

The First Love Language: Words of Affirmation 

The Second Love Language: Physical Touch

The Third Love Language: Gifts

The Fifth Love Language: Quality Time (coming soon)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

EK Encarnacion strongly believes that Acts of Service is his primary love language. To learn more of what this blogger loves, join him as he explores everything life has to offer: Culinary Coliseum (food blog), Travelocities (travel blog), and By God’s Grace (gratitude blog). Show the love by liking his Facebook Fan Page and Triond Page.

Heart on Hand (Credits to http://www.thepersonaldevelopmentguy.com for the Image)

The night was dark,

For the moon was young, 

And the Stars were asleep and rare,

The clouds were thick,

Yet youth went out,

To see his Maiden fair.

Dear one,

He pleaded as he knelt before her feet in tears,

My love is true, 

Why have you kept me waiting all this years?

The maiden looked at him.

Unmoved it seemed,

And whispered low.

Persistent Youth, 

You have to prove by deeds,

Your love is true.

“There’s not a thing

I would not do for you, Beloved” said he,

“Then go,” said she “to your mother dear,

And bring her heart to me.”

Without another word,

Youth left and went to his mother dear.

He opened her breast and took her heart!

But he did not shed a tear.

Then back to his Maiden fair,

He run unmindful of the rain.

But his feet slipped, And he fell down,

And loud, he groaned in pain.

Still in his hand he held the prize,

That would win his Maiden’s hands.

But he thought of his mother dear,

So kind, so sweet, so fond.

And then,

He heard a voice!

Not from his lips,

But all apart!

“Get up!” it said,

“Were you hurt, Child?”

It was his mother’s heart.

Happy Mothers’ Day to my mom and all other moms out there! In behalf of everyone, I would like to thank you for the unconditional love that you shower upon us. May God continuously bless each one of you. 

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

EK Encarnacion knows that he has not been a very good son. But he loves his mom so much and will keep working on to be better. Read more of this author through his other blogs: Culinary Coliseum (food blog), Travelocities (travel blog) and By God’s Grace (gratitude blog). Throw him your support by liking his Facebook Fan Page and Triond Page.

By: EK Encarnacion

Gift (Credits to http://www.gifts-flowers-giftbaskets.com/Links for the Image)

When we open and scour our cabinets or our chest of personal belongings, chances are we’ll see items that we did not purchase but rather were given to us by loved ones—our parents, our siblings, our best friends, our classmates, our co-workers, our partners, our ex’s, or even strangers we have met some time in our lives. We probably would see that brand new gadget our parents gave us for our birthdays; or those sheets of paper containing the extremely artistic, not to mention abstract, drawing of our little brothers and sisters; or those friendship bracelets we got from our best friends or classmates; or that coffee tumbler we got from an officemate during Kris Kringle; or that cuddly teddy bear hugging a heart that says “I love you” from our partners; or that shirt we have worn-out that was given long time ago by our ex’s; or that pre-historic-looking shell that was handed to us by a young boatman after we went to the beach.

A gift is a tangible object given without strings attached (no ifs and buts) and that loudly speaks, “I was thinking of you when I got this. I want this to be yours. I love you.” A gift may be small or big, cheap or expensive, and ephemeral or permanent. Regardless if the gift is small, cheap and ephemeral (perhaps the least of the possible combinations); to a person whose primary language is Gifts, the spatial and temporal characteristics of the item is not important as long as it translates emotional love. A mother whose own son gave her a freshly picked dandelion from the garden can provide the same intense emotion as a girl whose boyfriend got her a diamond engagement ring.

Many people are not naturally born gift-givers. Some of them did not receive gifts when they grew up. Some of them are poor at selecting appropriate gifts. Others are just too price-conscious that they feel their inexpensive gifts will turn out to be unappreciated. But if we really want to be a great lover of people, then we must learn to give gifts. If you have been following my Love Language blog entries, then there’s a big chance that you have already been slapped by the hard fact I have mentioned in the beginning of this series: TRUE LOVE REQUIRES EFFORT. Love requires learning the languages we have never spoken. Love requires us to be patient both learning the languages and waiting for people to learn the languages. Now the good thing about the love language of Gifts is that it is one of the easiest to learn. Mastering the language of Gifts requires us to observe, listen to, understand, and ascertain the interests of the people around us.

EK Encarnacion and His Gifts

I actually do not know if I am a naturally born gift-giver. What I do know is that whenever I plan to give gifts, I do my best to ensure that the person who will receive my gift, as much as possible, needs the gift, wants the gift or will use the gift some time. When I got my honorarium for a project last year, I bought my mom a new washing machine as a birthday gift because our old one was already on the verge of retiring. She (and we) needed the appliance. For a friend’s birthday, I got a Harry Potter Gryffindor scarf. I have learned how much he enjoyed reading J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter Series so I thought that the right gift would be something related to the book. By understanding his interests, I think I got him something he wanted. For another friend’s birthday, I got a Nalgene water jug. He told me how he planned to first play basketball after resigning from work. And so I thought that a sturdy water bottle would be worth giving as it is most probably something he’ll be using during or after a game. To enhance this language I have been doing my best to really master and speak with great fluency, I love giving gifts during the times people least expect it. I remember buying a friend a shirt on-the-spot after finding the said shirt I have been searching for, for a long time. But frequently, I give my loved ones several food pasalubongs when I arrive from a vacation somewhere OR a treat (dinner or movies) for occasions worth celebrating. However, I have realized that those things tend to be consumed easily and/or forgotten so I’m really doing my best to, this time, stick with long-lasting tangible (which is actually the definition of gifts in this article) items.

Although Gifts is not my primary love language (you’ll learn soon which one is), I deeply appreciate gifts especially those that I really need or really want. I am quite open so I think I’m someone whom a person should not really have trouble finding a gift for. The sad thing is I rarely receive gifts for my birthday and for Christmas (worse, some people even give me a single gift both for my birthday and for Christmas as they fall on the same month) and for any other momentous occasion. And I guess that’s the reason why I value gifts given to me so much. Because I seldom receive tangible items (or even treats), I tend to remember loved ones who took time and effort to express love through this language and keep the items in my closet as much as possible.

What We Can Do

Learning and mastering the love language, Gifts, is relatively easier compared to, perhaps, any of the other four. I personally think that there is no person in this world that does not want to receive gifts and that consider the act of gift-giving as an expression of hate. What we can do to be very eloquent and be consistently successful in this language is to take notes of people’s interests. People around us do and speak about their desires. If we begin to observe, listen and understand carefully; we will eventually pick up clues as to what would be the appropriate gifts for the people we care about.

And so we end our discussion and give ourselves another week, but this time, to practice the language of Gifts. I hope this article has been very helpful and has somewhat met your needs or answered your wants. Consider this blog entry as my first gift to you. You may not know when the ideas in this article will be critical in your life but I do hope that the thoughts I have wrapped in this entry will be significant and cause you to experience great changes in the way you express love to other people and how other people respond to yours.

Reference:

Chapman, G., The Five Love Languages Singles Edition, (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers), 2009

Related Articles

The Five Love Languages

The First Love Language: Words of Affirmation 

The Second Love Language: Physical Touch

The Fourth Love Language: Acts of Service

The Fifth Love Language: Quality Time (coming soon)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Excluding treats, the last gift that EK Encarnacion was a bar of chocolate from someone really nice. :) To learn more of this blogger’s life, don’t forget to join him in his other adventures and misadventures: Culinary Coliseum (food blog), Travelocities (travel blog), and By God’s Grace (gratitude blog). Help him in his pursuit of world peace by liking his Facebook Fan Page and Triond Page. 

By: EK Encarnacion

Conjunctivitis (Credits to http://tipsnikatoto.blogspot.com for the Image)

I woke up having difficulty opening my left eye. I looked into the mirror and saw it red, smaller than my right eye and producing a sticky water-like discharge. Discontented, but more of hoping that it is not what I think it is; I surfed the net and researched. And oh my goodness, I have confirmed my suspicion. I have Sore Eyes (also called Conjunctivitis and Pink Eye).

Can breast milk really cure Sore Eyes? 

Several home remedy sites and personal claims are scattered all throughout the internet affirming the effectiveness of breast milk in curing Sore Eyes. Breast milk is said to contain Immunoglobin A which prevents the bacteria from attaching to the mucosal surface of the eye. Unable to attach, the bacteria is limited from growing and spreading.

The following sites agree to the use of breast milk for Sore Eyes:

The Healing Power of Breast Milk by Pregnancy-Info.Net

Breast Milk Cures Pink Eye or Conjunctivitis by Archive.Blisstree.Com

How to Cure Your Sore Eyes or Conjunctivitis by Healthmad.Com

However, there is also a growing number of experts and individuals opposing to the old practice and claiming that breast milk should not be used to cure Sore Eyes as such substance may cause secondary bacterial infection like Gonorrhoea and Chlamydia.

The following sites contained statements opposing to the use breast milk for Sore Eyes:

Breast Milk and Urine are Not Remedies for Sore Eyes by PhilStar.Com

Breast Milk Cannot Cure Sore Eyes Forum by PinoyMoneyTalk.Com

Sore Eyes (also Conjunctivitis or Pink Eye) may be caused by a bacterium, a virus, or allergens (e.g. small particulates and irritating chemicals).

Read more from: Conjunctivitis by Health.USNews.Com

Most sites recommend that the first and best step to do is to consult one’s eye doctor. Anti-inflammatory and antibiotic eye drops or ointments are prescribed by medical experts to assist in the treatment of Sore Eyes. Simple practices such as applying warm compresses for Bacterial and Viral Conjunctivitis and flushing cool clean water for Allergenic Conjunctivitis are suggested as answers to discomfort.

The following sites attest to these recommendations:

Sore Eyes by EyeHealthWeb.Com

How to Cure Sore Eyes by MonsterGuide.Net

I think my case is Allergenic Conjunctivitis as I remembered experiencing eye irritation yesterday morning when the sliced peppers on our office dining table came in close contact with my left eye. But that remains to be verified by our family licensed doctor. I am actually at the edge of wanting to try breast milk and seeing the results for myself. But since Sore Eyes is naturally self-limiting, I may just wait for the irritation to subside and be careful not to infect other people within the next few days.

Curiosity caught the Chemist. And unfortunately, so did Conjunctivitis.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

EK Encarnacion officially has sore eyes today, May 5, 2012. To learn more of this author’s unfortunate experiences, read his other blogs: Culinary Coliseum (food blog), Travelocities (travel blog) and By God’s Grace (gratitude blog). Support him in his pursuit of becoming a respected writer by liking his Facebook Fan Page and his Triond Page. 

By: EK Encarnacion

Starbucks Logo on EK Encarnacion’s Chai Tea Latte (Photograph by EK Encarnacion)

While my parents and I were drinking frappuccino and tea latte at Starbucks, I was drawn to the coffee shop’s logo. There was a picture of a woman donning a starred crown holding what seemed to be ridiculously elongated tulips. My brain started asking questions. But since I could not access the Wi-Fi because everyone else inside the coffee shop was using it to access their Facebook accounts, I had to calm myself, wait until I arrive home, and surf the net to finally answer my queries. 

Who is the woman in the Starbucks logo? 

The woman is actually a two-tailed mermaid (so much for a crowned woman holding tulips! *laughs*). The mermaid, as we can recall from our Greek mythology and from the movie, Pirates of the Carribean: On Stranger Tides, is an irresistible half-fish half-woman known to seduce seagoing mariners with a mesmerizing song. Unable to resist temptation, the sailors reach their demise.

What is the meaning behind the Starbucks logo?

No, it doesn’t mean that the buyers will die after drinking a cup of coffee from Starbucks. What the company wants to imply is that its coffee possesses an irresistible and seductive quality that makes customers keep going back for more.

Read more about the Starbucks logo by clicking: “The Starbucks Logo”

Why is Starbucks named Starbucks?

Starbucks originated from Pequod’s first mate, Starbuck, from Herman Melville’s classic novel, Moby Dick.

What is the meaning behind the Starbucks name?

The name Starbucks was chosen to signify the seafaring tradition of the early coffee traders.

Read more about the Starbucks name by clicking: “Starbucks”

Aha! Now I know! And perhaps, now you know!

Related Articles:

Problematic Philippines: Starbucks Frappuccinos as Profile Pictures

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

EK Encarnacion rarely dines or drinks tea at Starbucks. To learn more of this author’s rare activities, visit his other blogs: Culinary Coliseum (food blog), Travelocities (travel blog) and By God’s Grace (gratitude blog). Throw him your support by liking his Facebook Fan Page and Triond Page. 

By: EK Encarnacion

Touch Me (Credits to http://haptics-kobyko.blogspot.com/ for the Image)

Have you ever wondered how a baby feels loved by his or her mother? Even if the mother says, “I love you,” the baby is too young to understand. The love language, Words of Affirmation, will not be effective for such case. Numerous research projects in the area of child development came up with the same conclusion: babies who are held, hugged and touched tenderly develop healthier emotional life than those who are left for long periods of time without physical contact. What is true for infants is also true for the elderly in nursing homes, and also for adults like us.

The body is made for touching. As you can obviously see, the largest organ in the body is the skin. Physical touch can make or break a relationship. When a person’s part of the body comes in contact with another’s person’s body part, it can communicate love or hate. So as you may discern, this is also one of the hardest love languages to understand and learn, and requires caution as not all touches are created and deemed equal. There are inappropriate touches which includes physical abuse and sexual harassment. And we know, from stories and news around us, that both inflict harm whether physically, emotionally or psychologically.

We can’t just go out and start touching people. There are touches that are suitable at the right time and at the right place. We can give a special guest a warm handshake before letting him or her inside our house or before allowing him or her to speak in front of our audience. We can give a hug to a relative or a friend whose loved one died. We can give a pat or a back rub to a classmate who failed an examination. We can give our partners a massage after they have helped us carry our belongings. We can rest our heads on the shoulders or laps of our partners while staring at the starry night sky by the beach (now, that’s romantic!).  We can give our parents kisses after arriving home from work. Married couples can enjoy the night by making love in a hotel room while on vacation. Yes, sex is also a form of physical touch but, of course, must be done appropriately. And since I’m not really in the position to discuss sexual intercourses and because I want to keep the light and airy atmosphere of my blog, I will leave the topic to righteous experts who have devoted themselves to studying human sexuality. (I encourage you to read Gary Chapman’s views on sex, which he formulated after thirty-plus years of counselling, since I cannot discuss everything he has stated in his book, The Five Love Languages).

EK Encarnacion and His Physical Touch

I am not a very touchy person so this is another language I am doing my best to understand and learn. However, I am most likely to give a hug to somebody who I care for and needs comfort rather than speak positive words. For some reason, I feel like it is easier for me to express my concern through physical contact than verbal communication. But of course, I try to assess first if the person will not feel uncomfortable when I deliver the love language of Physical Touch. As I said in the beginning of this Five Love Language Series, a person has to know what the other’s native love language is. I try to put into my mind that I can’t just hug a person if that is not his or her love language. He or she may feel uneasy, or worse, violated. So that is with respect to me, giving Physical Touch. What about me receiving Physical Touch from other people? The answer is yes. I prefer it more than Words of Affirmation. I feel good when people I love warmly wrap their arms around me and make me feel happy, comfortable and secure—a hug from upfront, beside or behind that tells me directly that I am not alone.

In fact, I remember that during the last weeks of March, I have been feeling so stressed with all my academics and so left out in the social aspect of my life. I was waiting for someone to visit me, to hold my hand or to give me just a hug. I got none. I wondered why nobody seemed to have responded. Until now, I wonder if the only resort I had that time was to ask. But for a weird reason, I feel like asking actually loses the essence of the Physical Touch. For me (and I am not saying this is true), it just feels scripted when I still need to ask someone I love to hold my hand or give me a hug. Where is the willingness? Where is the self-motivation? But of course, that is just me and I could be wrong. April came and there were several things in my life that fell apart. And one day, a good friend of mine, opened her arms and gave me the warmest embrace I had been waiting. I leaned on her shoulders and just cried, and cried, and cried. And that’s how I realized how important receiving Physical Touch was to me. It was just a good feeling all together when the touch I needed was finally given.

Now aside from hugs (which I would like to receive except during times when I am sweaty and stinky), I would also not lie about the fact that I do love being kissed on the cheeks … and on the lips. But please note that the latter is only applicable when I agreed prior to the act *laughs*.

What We Can Do

If we really wish to be a lover, we must also learn the language of touching. We should touch at the right time and at the right place. So how do we learn? By trying. By doing. Are there new people in our school or in our office? Why not make them feel welcome by extending our good arm and offering a handshake? Are our friends undergoing dilemmas? Maybe we can sit by their sides and give pats or back rubs while listening to their problems. Are our partners feeling all alone? Why don’t we rest our heads on their shoulders or chests or laps and tell them that we are staying by their sides? Do we appreciate everything our parents are doing for us? Maybe we can give our mothers and fathers tight hugs or meaningful kisses to relay how grateful we are to them.

An appropriate tender touch given at the right time at the right place can convert sorrow to comfort, brokenness to healing, and hate to love. Sometimes, Physical Touch can speak louder than Words of Affirmation. That is why we must also take time to understand and learn the power of physical contact. So before I reveal the third love language, let us give ourselves a week to practice Physical Touch. We may not be born with the fluency in touching others but it’s never too late to speak the said love language.

PS: Don’t worry. I’ll be with you every step of the way *pats backs*.

Reference:

Chapman, G., The Five Love Languages Singles Edition, (Chicago, IL: Moody Publishers), 2009

Related Articles

The Five Love Languages

The First Love Language: Words of Affirmation 

The Third Love Language: Gifts

The Fourth Love Language: Acts of Service

The Fifth Love Language: Quality Time (coming soon)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

EK Encarnacion loves to hug and be hugged especially on a cold and rainy night! Find more about what this author loves by visiting his other blogs: Culinary Coliseum (food blog), Travelocities (travel blog) and By God’s Grace (gratitude blog). Throw your support by liking his Facebook Fan Page and his Triond Page.